If you’ve ever read the comic strip Marmaduke, you may have thought the punchline simply didn’t make it into final print, or that the humor will make sense once you’re older and more sophisticated.
Now that I’m past middle-age (I’m only 25 but can’t stay away from the flavored partially hydrogenated soybean oil that drowns my popcorn in my mega-size movie bucket) and more intelligent, I still think it’s both the worst written and drawn comic strip in the Sunday newspaper.
Since this popular comic strip has appeared regularly since 1954, that can only lead to one conclusion: I am an ignorant bigot who has no right to judge.
Read the Full Story »If you live in central New Jersey, chances are you’ve been on Route 571. But have you ever driven from one end to the other at 500 miles per hour? Consider this a simulation of that experience.
That was a very fun game of indoor mini gold we played last weekend. Do you remember that game? In case you forgot, it was the one where I completely annihilated you on the score board.
I won by a grand total of 36 strokes, in case you lost count. I noticed you didn’t worry too much about keeping the score after the 2nd hole, but I made a point to continue to diligently mark down our scores after each and every hole, even making sure to assess those penalty strokes when you moved the ball out of the water. No big deal I remember you saying. Please, we have the integrity of a game to uphold here.
On Saturday, Chile’s devastating earthquake measured 8.8 on the Richter scale, causing a catastrophe so large that it altered the earth’s axis by 2.3 millarcseconds, or three inches. Devastated by the world-changing event, people everywhere are attempting to reorient themselves to their new lives.
“I came home from work on Monday and walked right into my [expletive] door,” Kyle Roberts, a Houston resident recalled sheepishly. “I felt so stupid. I’m so used to my house being three inches farther away.”
Well howdy y’all, happy Texas Independence Day to you! That’s right, the yearly holiday that we observe on March 2 (or the following Monday if it falls on a weekend) where we go out to launch fireworks, shoot guns, and definitely not show up at work today.
That’s right boss, I am unable to work today because this is a very important holiday. Today is the day that I commemorate the adoption of the Texas Declaration of Independence, as we finally told Mexico “No more!” and began life anew, as the Republic of Texas.
After seeing how easy it is to have people send their precious gold through the mail in hopes of a huge payday, emerging companies are promising big bucks for your unwanted goods.
“If people are stuffing their gold into envelopes and mailing them to states like Florida, of all places, we’re fairly certain our service will succeed,” said Cash 4 Precious Diamonds and Other Rare Commodities CEO Peter Johan.
In a move that sent stock prices tumbling, the Ford Motor Corporation announced the recall of every 1925 Ford Model T.
The American automobile manufacturer’s decision comes just weeks after Japanese rival Toyota has come under fire for producing cars that drive so fast they are sometimes unstoppable.
Dr. Earl Noble III, Esq., reviews the super-sucking iRobot Dirt Dog in Hilaritan.com’s prestigious review series. Find out if the bumble-bee inspired design will clean your floors or leave them dirty, like when that muddied dog walks by.
