The Internet continues its quest to destroy real life institutions. Not content with putting the newspaper industry on its deathbed, the U.S. Postal Service is now under attack. The Postal Service has been brainstorming ideas to spice up the mail and win back customers who have increasingly turned to email and its ability to quickly send chain letters.
After seeing how easy it is to have people send their precious gold through the mail in hopes of a huge payday, emerging companies are promising big bucks for your unwanted goods.
“If people are stuffing their gold into envelopes and mailing them to states like Florida, of all places, we’re fairly certain our service will succeed,” said Cash 4 Precious Diamonds and Other Rare Commodities CEO Peter Johan.
Dr. Earl Noble III, Esq., reviews the super-sucking iRobot Dirt Dog in Hilaritan.com’s prestigious review series. Find out if the bumble-bee inspired design will clean your floors or leave them dirty, like when that muddied dog walks by.
Instead of gracefully bowing out and letting Conan O’Brien cultivate an audience for his fledgling “The Tonight Show,” NBC is working to move failed prime-time talk show host Jay Leno back to his old 11:35 p.m. timeslot. O’Brien is negotiating to leave the network with a multimillion-dollar breach of contract payout and a good amount of office supplies.
“The Jay Leno Show,” while cheap to produce, brought in few viewers because of its monotony and reliance on recycled bits from Leno’s “Tonight Show” reign.
When Oprah Winfrey announced Friday that she would end production of her nationally syndicated talk show after next season, millions of unemployed Americans pretended they did not care.
“Opera? I don’t like foreign singing theater,” Jim Ukles said, feigning ignorance as though he knew not who Oprah is. After an hour of repeated questioning, the unemployed former GM salesman cracked.
Forward-thinking mega-corporation Disney has decided that bonus features are ruining the core DVD viewing experience. For the rental version of their latest animated film Up, Disney decided to remove the special features including English closed-captions and subtitles, a bonus that is only really appreciated by the hearing impaired, The Consumerist reported.
A user of the Nintendo Entertainment System was stunned to find his modified console would no longer load bootleg software following a global crackdown on game pirates. This incident comes just days after a mass Xbox 360 banning by Microsoft made headlines.
A blow was struck to stupidity on Nov. 6 as a N.J. jury rejected a man’s murder defense – he was too fat to have committed the crime. Opportunists and schemers everywhere are stunned.
The Associated Press reported that Florida resident Edward Ates was in N.J. when he shot and killed his former son-in-law in 2006. Ates, 62, proclaimed his innocence, contending that his massive girth and terrible health would have prevented him from running up and down the flight of stairs used by the killer.