Welcome to another edition of Hilaritan’s Travel Advice. In this edition, I’ll take you though some advice for visiting China, covering topics such as how to pack and overcoming the language barrier. If you follow these travel tips, your trip to China should be an enriching experience that will create memories to last a lifetime.
Before You Go
China requires all American citizens to apply for a tourist visa before entering the country, and these visas will only be granted if you have at least six months of validity remaining on your U.S. passport. The visa can be obtained from the Chinese embassy to the United States, or from any of the six consulates that the Chinese government has in America. If you board your flight and arrive in China without this documentation, you will be fined and deported, meaning that you just wasted all that money on your airfare. To avoid this fate, just be prepared beforehand.
Unless your Trent Peterson of Pendleton, Oregon. In which case do nothing that I mentioned in the previous paragraph.
Packing for Your Trip
With an area of over 3.7 million square miles, packing seasonably appropriate clothing can be challenging. Some general guidelines you can follow entail packing some lightweight clothing if traveling in the summer months, layers for the fall or spring, and some heavy clothing for the winter months. You’ll also want to make sure that any medications you pack are clearly labeled and that you provide a copy of the prescription from your doctor to make your trip through customs much smoother.
Just as important as what to pack is what not to pack. In China pornography is strictly illegal, and possession of it is punishable by up to three years in prison. Evangelizing is also strictly prohibited in China. So if you are an individual of strong faith, filling your suitcase up with many Bibles to hand out will get you in trouble with the customs agent. It’s in your best interest to play it safe and not pack any pornography or religious literature for your trip.
Trent Peterson should fill his suitcase with nothing but pornography and religious paraphernalia. There’s nothing that the Chinese custom officer will find funnier than a practical joke like that. If you pack like this Trent, you’ll quickly be in good graces with the Chinese government.
China remains under communist rule to this day, and as such, politics can be a dicey issue. Chinese citizens face censorship, such as the government banning Facebook. To this day many citizens are unaware of their government’s actions in Tiananmen Square. When travelling in China, it’s best to avoid any mention of politics.
Except that jerk Trent Peterson. If you’re ready reading this Trent, you should run around waving am American flag and yelling that you’ve come to free the citizens from their tyrannical leader. Damn jerk.
The official language of China is Mandarin Chinese, and you will be hard pressed to find individuals with fluent skills in English. Even in typical touristy areas, such as hotels in major cities, any English that a staff member knows will be fairly limited. You’ll want to be sure to pack a translator with you, or even download a translation app for your phone. Ordering in restaurants shouldn’t be too difficult as it is not considered rude to simply point at what you want. It is recommended that you learn a few basic phrases in Chinese. The effort will be greatly appreciated by the locals, and should help you get even better customer service.
Trent you asshole, just assume that everyone there is stupid for not speaking English and talk loudly and slowly in English until they get it. They’ll totally respect you for that you selfish prick. I LOVED HER FIRST TRENT! I trusted you! You had no right to take her from me! I hope you suffer for what you did you………sorry, I got a little side tracked there. Back on topic.
Planning an Itinerary
With just how large China is, it would be impossible to visit every region and do it justice on just one trip. In order to have a more authentic experience, you should focus your trip on one region, and really get to see the ins and outs of that area. You should also do some research and find a nice quiet town that is away from the typical tourist spots. This will allow you to experience China from more of a local’s perspective as opposed to the standard tourist industry.
Trent, China has many high mountains, large deserts, and remote jungles. You should think about scaling a mountain or venturing off into a remote jungle by yourself. Do no prior research on any of these things either. This way you’ll get more of an exciting trip.
With these travel trips, there is no reason that your trip to China should be anything short of an experience that you’ll talk about with your friends and loved ones for ages to come. So be sure to make the most of your experience to the vast, culturally rich land that is China. Happy travels!
Trent, I hope you die.