WASHINGTON – In a moment that has been building since President Obama first took office and was met with Republican opposition to nearly every initiative he tried get through Congress, the President finally snapped yesterday during a White House Press Conference.
Obama tried to keep a positive tone when discussing the recently passed Senate budget that is widely expected to be rejected by the House. As reporters kept pressing the President about the differences in the Senate and House budgets, Obama slowly became more and more visually agitated.
“I’m just trying to help all Americans and pass a budget that doesn’t cause an undue burden on our middle class” the President said when a conservative reporter asked him about the Senate budget’s estimated $1 trillion tax hike. “I don’t want to hurt people. I’m trying to help them, even the ones, never mind. No, it should be said. Even the ones that would love nothing more than to see me dead. I’m trying to help them.”
After being asked a follow up question about the sequester, Obama finally snapped.
Obama threw the podium aside and launched into a verbal tirade.
“Are you fucking kidding me!? I have been up here busting my ass from day one for a bunch of ungrateful selfish pricks that would sabotage this country just to see me fail simply because I have a God-damn D next to my name! You try to get shit done when your opponents stir up conspiracy theories about where you were born, and then they counter with no productive ideas! What more do you want from me?”
Obama then faced directly into the camera.
“And America, you need to chill the fuck out and figure out what you really want! Because right now you’re making yourself look like a God-damn uneducated fool.”
Obama then stormed out, punched a wall, and yelled “Jesus” before grabbing his car keys and yelling “I need to go think right now.”
As of press time, the President still hasn’t returned home.