NEW YORK NY – Following reports that the NHL will hold six outdoor games next season to get more teams involved instead of the usual one Winter Classic game, the NHL will announce today that they will award four Stanley Cups next season so that more NHL teams can enjoy the thrill of a championship.
“This is a very exciting time for our sport” said Commissioner Gary Bettman. “But my hope is that this is only the beginning. I want to get a point where all our games are played outdoors in every city, and that each team can earn a Stanley Cup every year.”
Though official details of how three additional Stanley Cups will be awarded haven’t been revealed yet, TSN hockey reporter Blake Jeffries is reporting from an unidentified team owner that the four Stanley Cups will be awarded as follows:
- One to the team that wins the Stanley Cup Finals.
- One to the team whose mascot performs the most death defying stunt.
- One to the team that has the longest Russian surname on their roster.
- And one to the team successfully attracts the most non-hockey fans to their games.
Though the league insists that no further changes will be made for the 2013-14 season, rumor has it that the NHL is considering adding a three goal line to increase offense at some time down the road.