Recently, I was tasked with the responsibility of the dinner run – picking up pizza and soda for my family. The pizzeria offered a wide range of soda choices, either a two-liter Coke or a two-liter Diet Coke. Or “litre” for our British and Canadian cousins.
Hating the vapid flavor of the diet variety, I settled on the good old Coke, a time-tested reliable soft drink. I left, dinner in tow, anticipating what promised to be a relaxing evening of pizza, soda, and the satisfying glow of video games while I neglected my other responsibilities. Sadly, this was not to be.
I looked at the Coke bottle and notice “Feliz Navidad” printed atop the label. Well bravo, I thought to myself – a major corporation did not allow itself to succumb to pressures of “political correctness” and stood up for what they believe in, telling people to enjoy Christmas in a foreign tongue.
Filled with a new level of respect for Coca-Cola that I have never felt for a beverage other than coffee, I turned the bottle around to view the English side, anticipating an even larger increase to these feelings of awed admiration I was feeling.
Instead, what I learned was that Coke was just as big of a wimp as the “Happy Holidays” advocates, as the English side said “Holiday 2009.”
For the record, I’ve never been one to adamantly care or get involved in the recent “War on Christmas.” I think that it is stupid that a worker can get in trouble for saying Merry Christmas, but quite frankly, I don’t care one iota what you say to me after completing my Christmas time transaction.
I just spent hours walking around crowded malls getting into shoving and shouting matches with customers who wanted the very thing I was buying. By the time I paid, all I could think about was getting home and watching the Jets orchestrate another December choke job.
I’m not a Jets fan, I just get amusement every time they blow it late in the season.
My question for you Coke, is why do you feel that because I am an English speaker that I am not worthy of being wished a Merry Christmas? Why is that goodwill reserved only for your Spanish speaking customers?
Maybe I was having a bad day and could have used the pick-me-up of knowing that the manufacturer of my carbonated beverage cares enough to wish me a Merry Christmas. Heck, you didn’t even wish me a Happy Holiday!
No, instead you made the declarative statement, “Holiday 2009.” Just in case the decorations and music didn’t tip me off that it is that time of year again. And that it was 2009.
I guess if I want to be considered worthy enough to receive well wishes from Coca-Cola I had better start taking Spanish classes. What if I were to have a Spanish speaker translate the bottle for me? Would I be allowed to be a recipient of Coca-Cola’s Christmas wishes then, or are Spanish speakers not allowed to translate those well wishes onto me because my native language is English?
Now listen Coke, I’m not looking to create a poor public image for you as a result of this, one that would cost you $20 million in rebranding yourself so people believe that you are not anti-English speakers. I just want an honest answer Coke. Why are we English speakers not good enough for you?